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Top 20 Things Not to Do While Running

Some things are obvious. Others, not so much.

As runners, we are constantly barraged with tips – those things we should be doing while we run. But what about what we should not do? Here are some guidelines. We’ve learned the hard way, so make sure you don’t make the same mistakes!

Wear white shorts or leggings. You never know what type of bodily fluids (BFs) might escape while you are running. These BFs are much better camouflaged with dark shorts and leggings.
Assume all dogs are friendly. Same goes for geese.
Run in shoes that are too small. A good rule of thumb is to get a running shoe that is at least one half size bigger than your everyday shoe. This is because your feet swell as you run.
Run with traffic. While cyclists ride with traffic, runners should run against traffic. You can see what is coming for you before it hits you (hopefully giving you a chance to dive into a ditch).
Clench your fists. Believe it or not, clenching your fists while running takes energy. Relax your fists and you’ll be more efficient.
Cut a run short because it starts to snow, rain, get hot or become windy. Running in challenging elements makes you stronger mentally. View it as a training opportunity to increase stamina, willpower and discipline.
Trust a fart. Although running and farting go together like peanut butter and jelly, if you have any inkling whatsoever that the fart might have a chaser, do not go for it.
Wear underwear. If your running shorts have a liner in them, then wearing underwear is redundant.
Keep checking your watch. Checking your watch is like waiting for water to boil. It makes the run feel like forever. Forget the watch and glance at it only on occasion (such as when it beeps at a mile point or when you finish a song on your iPod).
Assume drivers see you. Run defensively. Always be prepared to jump out of the way of an oncoming car. You never know who is texting, drinking or picking their nose behind the wheel.
Have spare change in your pocket. This advice applies mostly to group runs. If you have quarters and dimes jingling in your pocket during a run, you might get beat up. It is just that annoying.
Talk on the phone. Talking on the phone while running is like oil and water. They just don’t mix. Bring your phone for safety reasons, but save your conversations for later.
Stop to walk every time you get a bit tired. Once you get in the habit of stopping to walk every time you are a bit tired, it gets easier and easier to do. Try to avoid this pattern. It will improve your mental fortitude.
Over drink. While it is important to stay hydrated, be sure not to drink too much. This can lead to a complication called hyponatremia, which is when sodium in the blood becomes too diluted.
Run through pain. Putting up with severe discomfort could surely lead to the big “I,” or injury.
Dress like a ninja at night. If you want to survive your run in the dark, dress accordingly. Wear bright colors and consider using a headlamp.
Worry if your first mile feels like crap. Any runner knows that the first mile or two of a run can feel horrible as you work out the kinks. Never take those initial miles too seriously. Know you will settle into a groove.
Ignore other runners. Take a moment to wave at your fellow runners. We are a special club, after all.
Bypass a bathroom because you think you can hold it. Bathrooms can be hard to come by. If you are lucky enough to be running and encounter a peeing/pooping opportunity, take it. You will thank yourself later, especially if you did not heed #1 on this list.
Blow without looking. A snot rocket or farmer’s blow is a necessity for all runners. But, please, look before you send your snot shooting onto another runner, a car or an unsuspecting baby.